What Does the Bible Say About Dating and Relationships?

The Bible never uses the word “dating.” That is a modern practice, not a biblical category. But Scripture speaks directly to everything dating involves: how you treat another person, what you do with your body, whom you choose to marry, and what love actually is. The clearest single chapter is 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul answers questions about marriage, singleness, and sexual relationships. Alongside it, Hebrews 13:4 sets the standard plainly:

Marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. — Hebrews 13:4 (BSB)

So the Bible’s teaching is not silent on dating. It simply addresses it through principles about purity, love, wisdom, and marriage rather than through rules about coffee shops and text messages.

What does the Bible actually say about romantic relationships?

Scripture treats romance as good, created by God, and ordered toward marriage. The first marriage is described in Genesis 2, where a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. That pattern — leaving, cleaving, becoming one flesh — is the Bible’s baseline for a relationship that has moved toward permanence.

Outside that covenant, the Bible is consistently clear that sexual intimacy belongs inside marriage. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 that God’s will is your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality and learn to control your body in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God.

This is not because God dislikes pleasure. It is because sex is not a casual activity. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:16 that the one who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body with her. Physical union creates a real bond. God’s boundaries protect people from forming and breaking those bonds lightly.

So the Bible’s answer to dating is not “don’t.” It is: pursue relationships with honesty, self-control, and a clear direction toward covenant marriage, or step back from them.

Is it a sin to kiss before marriage?

The Bible never mentions kissing in a romantic, pre-married context as either commanded or forbidden. That silence matters. It means no verse can be quoted that says “thou shalt not kiss before marriage.”

What Scripture does address is the broader category of sexual immorality — porneia in Greek — which covers sexual activity outside marriage. A kiss is not that. But the Bible also warns against feeding desire you have no intention of fulfilling. In Song of Solomon 2:7 the beloved is told not to awaken love until it pleases. Paul tells the Colossians to set their minds on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2).

So the honest answer is: a kiss before marriage is not named as sin in Scripture. But what a couple does with that kiss matters. If kissing becomes a doorway to what God forbids, or if it is driven by using another person for pleasure, then the problem is not the kiss itself but the heart and the direction it is heading.

Different Christians draw the line in different places. Some couples set strict physical boundaries before marriage; others are freer. Both can be faithful. What is not faithful is pretending that self-control does not matter, or that God is indifferent to how you treat someone made in His image.

What does the Bible say about premarital sex?

Here Scripture is not ambiguous. Sexual intimacy outside marriage is called sin, and it is named repeatedly in both testaments. Hebrews 13:4 says God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. First Thessalonians 4:3 says abstaining from sexual immorality is God’s will. First Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality.”

The reason is not that God wants to spoil your fun. It is that sex is a covenant act. It is designed to seal and express a lifelong union. Using it outside that union is like signing a contract you have no intention of keeping.

This is also where grace matters. If you have already sinned sexually, the Bible’s message is not condemnation for those in Christ. First John 1:9 promises forgiveness when we confess. The call is to repentance and a new direction, not to shame. A pastor or mature believer can help you walk through that honestly.

How should a Christian choose whom to date?

Scripture gives two big filters. The first is faith. Second Corinthians 6:14 warns against being unequally yoked with unbelievers. The principle is that your closest partnership should pull you toward Christ, not away from Him. A person who does not love Jesus will not share your deepest loyalty, and that will eventually strain the relationship.

The second filter is character. Proverbs 31 describes a woman of strength and wisdom; Psalm 1 describes the blessed man who delights in God’s law. The Bible consistently values who a person is becoming over how they make you feel in the moment.

Paul adds practical wisdom in 1 Corinthians 7:39: a widow is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. That is the New Testament’s plain instruction for marriage, and it applies just as well to the person you are dating with marriage in view.

What does real love look like in a relationship?

First John 4:16-21 is one of the clearest passages on love in the Bible. It says God is love, that love is perfected among us, and that perfect love drives out fear. Then it lands the point: if you say you love God but hate your brother, you are lying.

Applied to dating, that means love is not mainly a feeling. It is patient, kind, truthful, and self-giving. It does not use another person. It does not manipulate. It does not demand.

Paul’s description in 1 Corinthians 13 is often read at weddings, but it was written to a church, not a couple. It still fits: love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. If your relationship looks nothing like that, the problem is not the relationship’s label. It is the love inside it.

What if I am already in a relationship that is not honoring God?

The Bible’s pattern is repentance and change, not despair. If you are in a sexual relationship outside marriage, the call is to stop and turn to Christ. If you are dating someone who does not share your faith, the wise move is to talk honestly about it, with counsel from a pastor or trusted believer.

Hebrews 13:4 says marriage should be honored by all. That is not a threat aimed at you. It is a picture of what God designed for your good. The same chapter says Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). His grace is not exhausted.

If this topic touches deep pain — abuse in a relationship, thoughts of self-harm, or feeling you cannot go on — please reach out for help right away. In the United States and Canada, call or text 988. In the United Kingdom and Ireland, call Samaritans on 116 123. In Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Anywhere else, visit findahelpline.com or call your local emergency number.

How do I apply this without becoming legalistic?

The Bible does not give you a checklist for dating. It gives you a Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

So pray about the person you are dating. Read Scripture. Ask a pastor or mature believer for honest counsel. Be willing to hear a hard answer. And remember that God’s commands about purity and marriage are not chains. They are the shape of a life that honors Him and protects the people you love.

If you want to go deeper, read 1 Corinthians 7 slowly, then Hebrews 13. Bring your questions to God in prayer, and bring your relationship into the light of a local church. That is where wisdom grows.

Common questions

Does the Bible say dating is a sin?

No. The Bible never mentions dating, because dating as we know it did not exist in biblical times. Scripture addresses the principles behind it: purity, honesty, faith, and the direction toward marriage. A dating relationship is not sinful in itself, but how you conduct it can honor or dishonor God.

Is kissing before marriage a sin according to the Bible?

The Bible never names kissing before marriage as sin. It does forbid sexual immorality, which means sexual activity outside marriage. The question is whether the kiss is moving you toward what God forbids or is driven by using another person. Christians differ on where to draw physical boundaries, and both stricter and freer approaches can be faithful.

Can a Christian date a non-Christian?

The Bible warns against being unequally yoked with unbelievers in 2 Corinthians 6:14, and 1 Corinthians 7:39 says a widow may marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. Most Christians read these as guidance to marry within the faith. Dating someone who does not share your faith creates a deep mismatch at the center of life.

What should I do if I have already sinned sexually?

First John 1:9 promises that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us. The Bible’s response is repentance and a new direction, not shame. Talk with a pastor or trusted believer who can help you walk through it honestly and point you back to Christ.